I know I am smart. I am just fuckin’ lazy. Yeah. You got it girl. And I want to do 0 about me learning mucho to get perfecto.. ( I have no Idea if there are even such words). Haha.
Like most of you know I am taking psych classes. Very me. I LOVE psychology. I have finished reading my WHOLE book ( 15 chapters) . We are on chapter 7 now and it is about learning, IQ, intelligence etc. SO I took IQ test today. Good IQ test. I scored high and I was surprised to see that I scored that high. I was sure that I scored below 100, but seems like my brain is not dead at all. It is getting smarter, in fact.. My IQ score was 120. Not bad. I am not genius but it is above average ( max to my age is 166) and I am very very exited about it. I knew that MATH is my weak point and I scored VERY low on math, but I scored very high on pattern recognition and general knowledge ( about 85% in both. Now I know that Regina gets puzzle and problem solving from me and MATH abilities from Nick. Gabriel is totally something else. I still have not figured “HIM” out. Because he is like me. HE likes EVERYTHING, he is good at EVERYTHING. He can sing, he can dance, he is good at solving problems, he learns everything very fast, he makes friends fast- Almost like me …lol. He is a male version of me… 😉
Back to me now…. I feel the need to stop eating. I decided , that starting from tomorrow, I will only buy healthy food in my house- Well, Most of my food is healthy, BUT my kids eat crap during school snack times. SO there will be no foods with additives, no SMG, NO GMO, no Red food colorings, no shit….. yup, Diana is going Organic and natural. And so does my grocery bill.. Henrys, trader joes, wild oats, farmers market… etc. These are the best stores in whole wide world, BUT they are located little further away from us. I hate driving . I like things to be around me … but to healthier Diana I am ready to drive.
I hope to stop HOT FLASHES with better nutrition…..
OK. I have to do my cardio now. I ate 2 cups of taro ice cream tonight and I can FEEL IT crawling to my thighs- and forming those orange peal like “ mountains”.
AND this brings me to my latest nightmare . About 4 nights ago ( on 17th of oct) I had a bad dream . I was in my bank filling in some forms. Suddenly one guy, dressed very nicely walked towards me- I smiled. He asked- What the fuck I am smiling about because there is nothing to smile about – I am going to blow your head off first. All I could think about was- Please no, my kids are still young- And then BOOM, my brains flew out of my head and …. I had to wake up because my alarm clock sounded. Dang, I wanted to know what happened next. I tried to have same dream next night- But it did not happen- instead I dreamed about how overweight I had become, because I did not fit in from my front door. I guess it is my biggest fear….
OK. Back to my Officially boring life. I need something exiting. I need to get out of my house more often without kids. I mean evenings, nights. I miss dancing. I miss clubbing. I miss the feeling I get in club , when beat is so loud I can hear my heart beating in the rhythm of trance. I miss how it made me feel when I let my guard down and just danced, danced, and danced. I MISS having a drink with my friends and just goofing around. And I miss my husband to- just a little….
Then I hear boys talk- but you know what I want to be when I grow up- girls ask WHAT- I am going to by a big gun and do some shooting. Because it is so much fun ….. ( WTF????) and then they imitate shooting ( at age 6-7). And girls stick their fingers in their mouths, then zzzzzzzzzz on their butt and – UH, I’m so hot…. ZZZZZZZZz , peace bros and sistaaaas…..
I just listen to these conversations and wonder- I must be doing something right because my kids want to be train driver, trash truck drivers and doctors and bakers. ( sound reasonable …) OR, should I start pushing them to be more “ hip “ these days like— Pamela Anderson Look a likes…??? Or should I take them to get their pedicures and manicures every week because when you do not get your nails done you are sooooooo yesterday…. ( yeah, you are— let me remind you- last time I had my nails done was 2 years ago…) …
Talk to you later bitches and HOs.
My fave quote- It is a discusting little gross fairytale Poor girl meets a rich guy and they fall in love. And they live happily ever after. I am so bored of that story.. ( Erica from Bachelor )
OH. I saw my cardiologist. I had complete blood test and everything came out fine. So it must be in my head. I just think myself sick. I got to change my thinking. I have to be more positive. 🙂 I hate being positive. To much hahahah and ohohohoh just makes me go . DAMN what the heck is wrong with me…..
AND… have you estonian chickis have noticed coffe names in starbucks… Sulawesi, and Estima… What’s next- Talina////????
I do not know what is going on with me. My energy levels are acting up. One moment I feel happy and energized and then suddenly I am tired and down. I eat my lunch, but around 2 hours after lunch , horrible hunger hits me. I start sweating, get irritable and moody and at times even nauseous (sp?) and dizzy. I HAVE TO have a bite of something, if not I may pass out because I just loose all my strenght and energy. it is very weird feeling. And second time around I get same kind of feeling after I eat my dinner. . My mood can change with a snap. AND I can’t stop yawning. Oh, and my vision is weird also. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have hard time opening my eyes and when I do everything seems blurry… but that goes away after few minutes. i guess I am just starting to get stressed again and there is just way to much pressure and responsibilites in my sholders. I really, really do need a brake. I need a brake to think , and find myself again. I feel like I am starting to separate myself from everybody and everything. I have not done my fave things for a while- I used to see EVERY new movie out there- now I just netflix them. I used to be exited about scrapbooking and taking pics – now my camera just collects dust because I lost my interest. BUT I clean, and clean and clean and clean and I am about to go grazy if I pick up mop one more time and wash my floors. I am going nuts. I am going to bee around 1 am and wake up 6 am every morning. ( I just can’t fall asleep- I am tired, but I can’t sleep. I toss and turn and toss and turn and have nightmares (sp?). And few of my friends are just driving me grazy by complaning about things that just are not even worth mentioning. And when I want to vent away … ah, I am not even going there. …. Anyway, .I havent felt so lonely in years………
Anyway- I took kids to pumpkin patch today. ( yes, I had 101 fever, but it is not my job to be sick. I still have to take care of kids and entertain them. then I get a call from Nick telling me I AM S I C K tooo. Honestly? Are you sure sweety? If you are, you are not getting any symphaty from me. I know your job is important- MAKING MONEY. blah, blah blha, so we can afford this beautiful house, but MY job is more important. So stop whining and do not tell me that your life is hard. I am the one who takes care of kids, I AM the one who cleans the house, I AM the one who cooks, I am the one who pays the bills ( wo what that you make the money), I am the one who takes care of kids so what that I have fever. So pleas tell me , whose life is fucking hard?? HUH.??? OHOHOH I forgot to mention- I am the one who has to attend all the IEP meetings and I AM THE FUCKING ONE WHO HAS NO LIFE BECAUSE I SIMPLY AM SO TIRED IN THE END OF THE DAY that I lost interest doing thing I LOVE to do. SO SHut up. ( sorry ). But I just had to let it out. I need to do it more often ( UPs, I forgot one thing- I AM THE one who also has to study when kids are in school, so I CAN DO SOMETING BETTER WITH MY LIFE THAN JUST CLEANING AND COOKING.
Anway- pumpkin patch was lots of fun. I have not seen my kids so energized for ages. They were runnin around, playing games, and taking rides up on a storm. And total amount spent in pumpkin patch -80 dollars( 40 dollars for rides and rest of it for games and food) SUCKERS. All they want is money from us. They know that they can’t sell that many pumpkins so they came up with alternitive route. Seems like it is working.
Oh, we had lunch in hometown buffet. I love food, even though my taste and smell have gone to vacation- I managed to remember how chocolate, ice cream, peach gobbler, chocolate mousse cake tastes and I ate and I ate and I ate. Now I feel sick to my stomach. But who cares. It was food. We never stop complaning about food.