AND this brings me to my latest nightmare . About 4 nights ago ( on 17th of oct) I had a bad dream . I was in my bank filling in some forms. Suddenly one guy, dressed very nicely walked towards me- I smiled. He asked- What the fuck I am smiling about because there is nothing to smile about – I am going to blow your head off first. All I could think about was- Please no, my kids are still young- And then BOOM, my brains flew out of my head and …. I had to wake up because my alarm clock sounded. Dang, I wanted to know what happened next. I tried to have same dream next night- But it did not happen- instead I dreamed about how overweight I had become, because I did not fit in from my front door. I guess it is my biggest fear….
OK. Back to my Officially boring life. I need something exiting. I need to get out of my house more often without kids. I mean evenings, nights. I miss dancing. I miss clubbing. I miss the feeling I get in club , when beat is so loud I can hear my heart beating in the rhythm of trance. I miss how it made me feel when I let my guard down and just danced, danced, and danced. I MISS having a drink with my friends and just goofing around. And I miss my husband to- just a little….