Big Bear Welcomed us with beautiful white snow 🙂
BUT I have to brag- I LEARNED TO SNOWBOARD TODAY – WOHOO TO MEEEEEE. You have no idea how frustrated I was at first. I almost started crying because I just fell and fell and fell and fell even more… Yes , 2 first hours I spent falling. lol… But second 2 hours was the best time I have had in a long time… I learned it, I fell once or twice, ut OMG, I CAN DO IT. :):):):) Tomorrow (24th) I am going to spend 2 more hours snowboarding and then I have to cook christmas dinner. :):)

OK. BTW. Gariel and regina spent 6 hours in snowboarding camp also and Gabriel also loves snowboarding. Regina thinks it is not her thing( just like her dad ) 😉

Happy holidays to you 🙂

Happy Anniversary to Us

Can you belive it ?? 8 years ago, on 28th of December in Caterbury Chapel ( Excalibur hotel in Las Vegas ) we tied the knot… Whoever told that Las Vegas marrages do not last lied… I was just 20 and he was 32. OMG OMG OMG… We are soooo old now. ( well, he is, I am still twenty something…lol ) So 8 years ago, 28th of dec it was 1998…. Awful lot of eights.. Nick likes 8. it is a lucky sign in china. His car number is NICK 88 ( something do to with father… Not sure what… chinese numerology is to complicated…lol ) Anyway, We are leaving to big bear on 22nd , and we will be back before our anniversary… We still have not figured out what to do.. At first we wanted to have little one night Vegas celebration, but decided not to because it will be just too much .. Maybe we just do Hollywood or LA celebration- Nice dinner, clubbing, and spend a night somewhere there… I love The Standard hotel , they also have Awsome lounge and REnessance (sp? ) hotel is one of the coolest hotels there, but we’ll see… Maybe we just go to pechanga or some other casino that is close by. Something fun…
if you have any good ideas just let me know. I am very open to Ideas….. 🙂
You all, have a Very Merry Christmas and enjoy your family/friends, /alone=== whatever time you are having. :).

Ok, this self centered little bitch is back…

.. and here is my Xmas list- AGAIN.. but mostly it is for my better other half….

  1. Startbucks giftcards- just make sure it is not BLANK (Thank you )
  2. Best buy giftcards OR new Rebel XTi digital slr 😉
  3. iTunes giftcards because I have I pod and I need sponsors who could afford to pay for my music needs.(thank you )
  4. Kohls giftcards – because I really need new trendy clothes (thank you )
  5. shutterfly giftcard – because I love taking pictures and ordering them online.
  6. Target giftcards- because I just like target
  7. New mercedes- yes, haha( this one is for my dh)
  8. 8×10 picture frames
  9. Sephora giftcards(thank you)
  10. IKEA giftcards- because I want to purchase one of their roundtables
  11. Presidenti coffee from estonia
  12. Metsatollu CD
  13. Trader Joes giftcard
  14. RED WINE- Chiraz or syrah, or Zinfandel

AND I did have an ultrasound today… I found out that I indeed am very fertile RIGHT NOW… But I do not think that I will put my eggs into use anytime soon…. Everything looked good, so I guess I do have to get my thyroid checked….

And nick is coming home tomorrow. Yesterday I went to sport Chalet ( sp) and got ourselves whole bunch of warm clothing for Big bear purporses… I WANT TO LEARN TO SNOWBOARD. I really do,, so watch out, I can feel adrenaline rush just thinking about my new upcoming adventure….


Today I opened pox with christmas cards I had received over the years ( from 1998 till last year) . I have accumulated at least 1000 cards- I save all cards and letters. I just can not throw the away.

As I was reading them , I found some envelopes and cards that my grandmother had sent me in 2001. Suddenly I just felt so sad that she is not with us anymore and I truly miss her. She had beautiful handwritting and I just had to take one of the envelopes with her handwrittig on it and I framed it. I completely feel like she is with us today and I wish I was not in US when she passed away few years ago. But we can’t turn back time. 😦 I wish we could.

I also had need to create some Christmas stuff today. One of the things I created was just simple orange and clove(sp?) ball… I am not sure what to call it, but it makes my bathroom feel all nice and Christmasy…Lol And second thing – I took some rabbit wire , made a cylinder out of it and decorated it with purple christmas lights ( I go this idea from my friend who lives in estonia. ). It lookes beutiful when all lights but those purple ones are turned off in the room 🙂
Keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow.. I have had some major female problems lately ( ovarian pain, nausea, cramps, swelling, water retention , swelling feet ( you know, signs of pregnancy, BUT I am not pregnant) anyway, I am having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow to rule out ovarian cysts or even something worse… If ultrasound is normal, then next step-endocronology appointment to check my thryoid function and also appointment with immunologist.. because I just keep having one infection after another and no meds work.. also my earinfections are not clearing away… I have huge amount of pressure in my head – I feel like poking a hole to my head and letting fluids go free. I just wish nausea will go away- I do not feel like walking around with feeling that I am going to thow up NOW all the time.

happy Hanukkah…

You know what, Call me grazy or whatever you want, but I decided that This year, we are celebratin Hanukkah. Which means, since Friday, kids have been receiving one gift per day. We also do candle thing… But of course, kids belive in santa, and since we will celebrate our Christmas in Big bear, I kind of mix 2 traditions into one- Today kids baked cookies for Santa and tomorrow each of them will receive one gift. OMG, I am confusing my kids… WTF, I am confusing myself…. lol But hey, we live in 21st century… I do whatever I want to do in privacy on my home… well, publishing all over the net does not really count, but I am HAVING HELL OF A TIME having fun….lol

I hope santa is hungry, because kids left him lots of cookies…


I just had major meltdown today. I is not even worth mentioning, but I am going to do it anyway. Well, NICk ( my genius Husband) got US about year ago “SURPRIZZZZEEE zoom whitening certificates. ( dumb move, I know his intenitons were good, but PLEASE CHECK wity your wife before you do so).

I am allready doing custom whitening through my dentist office ( custom molds and whitening gels). Well, I did get few of my teeth fixed ( I had to chane fillings and get crowns…) It was not cheep and I tryed my best, Nut I JUST do not have extra ” thousands” hanging around the house to FIX all of my teeth ( meaning- get ALL NEW FILLINGS) Because dentists do zoom ONLY when ALL TEETH are in perfect condition- Mine are not… So there you go 175 dollars WASTED because I am just not going to do it. And in some werid way I feel angry at my DH just because he tryed to do something good- BUT it is just NOT GOOD-GOOD I wanted…. and when dentist told me that HE is not going to but my heatlh on risk by doing my whitening I just started crying because I just had ENOUGH.

I’ve had doubble ear infection for 2 weeks and NOTHING seems to be working, I had sinus infection, tonsilitus and I DID really good job keeping everything under control – just I WAS so ready to get ZOOMED and no it is just not going to happen. I hate days like today. I absolutely do.

Oh, my garbage disposal is still broken and to get GE technition to chekck it out it is 85 dollars and if it has to be replaced- I DO NOT WANT TO EVEN THINK HOW MUCH MONEY THAT is going to be. I CAN NOT STAND BROKEN THINGS, AND I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT stand how 85 dollars feels like ripping people off…. Dumbasses. I need my chirstmas spirit back… I need to start baking cookies and eating them big time. I also need to open bottle of something because I am OFF the meds ( because I just decided I donot need them since they do not work)… Ok. I am done for today….. Happy holidays.

here I am

Before my first bellydancing recital…

Ok. I decided to add few words also about m recital… First of all- we could not rehearse before our performance. SO it was totally OMG type of From Alise viejo group only 6 girls showed up, I was kind of pissed about it. laguna beach had more dancers… and some of those beginner bithces were real BITCHES…. cheesh.. I asked them about performance and all I got was – YOu should know better….duh. I do , I was just testing you- seemed like you fat ass had no idea yourself.. TOTALLY…..
Anyway, performance was ok. SInce 2 groups were united on stage, little confusion moments kicked in and I probably looked like chicken on wheels,b but at least i could move my hips …lol duh…
Next belly dancing season starts in february- I can’t wait till then.


Ihope you guys enjoyed my last entry. 🙂 i was told that I should learn to express my feeling more often… We’ll see about that. Just mild warning to all of you out there …. better be nice or I blow some asskicking steam to your way… and i am not going to hold back…. But talking about steam… I really , really wanted to relax today. So I went online and started looking up for some of my favorite chirstmas food drink recipes, so I could share them with you 🙂 If you et a moment check them out. They are quite tasty 🙂

First 2 recipes are Glogg Recipes- it is a HOT drink full of holiday flavour. I am sure you will enjoy it. Especially those of you who get inches of snow…

Next- Liver Pate. … One of my faves. If you do not love liver, you will like this dish. 😉

Liver pāté
500 g calf’s or pig’s liver
200 g bacon
2 onions
2 carrots
pepper, nutmeg ,salt
1 gl water
100 g butter
cognac, brandy or rum
Cut bacon and fry it with sliced vegetables. Add sliced liver and brown the mixture. Add seasoning and water and boil until all the ingredients are soft. Grind the mixture with a mincing machine. Add butter and whipthe mixture. Put the mixture into bowls and store it in a cold place.

Potato Salad with Red Peet……. OH, YUMMMMMMMMM

Potato salad with red beet
700 g cooked beet
400 g cooked potatoes
200 g cooked carrots
1 medium salted herring (kipper can do)
1 – 2 pickled cucumbers
2 apples
200 g roast pork or cooked beef
2 – 3 hard-boiled eggs
6 dl sour cream
salt according to taste
½ tsp mustard
a little sugar
spring onions to garnish
Makes salad for 10 – 12 persons. This salad contains lots of cooked red beet, the sweet taste of which goes well with salt herring and pickled cucumber. Peel the potatoes, carrots and beets, and core and peel the apples. Fillet the herring, removing the skin and even the smallest bones. Cut everything (except eggs) into tiny cubes. Stir sour cream, mustard, salt and sugar together to make a sauce. Mix all the ingredients with the sauce, leave covered in the fridge for an hour or two, and take out about one hour before serving. Put a nice heap of salad in a dish or a bowl, cover the surface with finely chopped eggs,egg slices or segments, and decorate with chopped spring onion.

Estonian SourKraut.

Estonian sauerkraut (mulgikapsad)
1 kg sauerkraut
½ gl barley grouts
400-500 g bacon
1 – 2 onions
salt, teaspoon of brown sugar
Put the sauerkraut in a saucepan with pearl barley and meat. Cover it with water and stew it under the lid. It is important to see that the water does not boil off. Add salt and sugar. Cut the onions into little cubes and fry them with little fat or oil. Add them to the sauerkraut. Serve Estonian sauerkraut with boiled potatoes and pork.(use crock pot to cook this dish )

These are just few recipes…
I also give you some links with more info about Estonian Christmas celebrations. :

Be ready for more ME…

I had no Idea that I am Lesbian swinger who likes to be FU@^! into all holes same time. Oh, and of course I am out here to look for LOVE and swing and AND THE BEST- I am transexual. :0) Maybe now I get some attention???? If you guessed that my MYSPACE account was hacked , you are 100% right. Sadly I become a victim of one of the spammers out there and I had no control over it. I changed my password 2 times yesterday, YET , they were still able to log into my account and post nonsence under my profile. I changed my password once more and it has been successful change. BUT oh boy, I thought that I could keep all those things secret ….. Dang hackers….. shame on you, You filty little perverts with distorted imagination, one day you pay for your actions….. i suspect that you all are 17 year old horny Motherfuckers —- May acne never leave you , may it cover your whole body with fluid filled pimples and I hope you will be prisoners on your own home without computers…..

UUUHHHHHH I got it out of my system- well, almost, I still have few things to say, but I rather ,not because santa may add me to his naughty list 😉

On a happyer note. Last night I had change to enjoy professional bellydancing. My instructor invited us to persian restaurant where on Friday nights bellydancers show up ( GOOD and experienced ones) and give us awsome show. IT was AWSOME. I could not get myeyes off that girl ( you see, I must be lesbian 😉 ) Her body bended and shaked and moved the way I never seen anybody move.. ( BTW, dancer was from Ukraine and very pretty. ) Regina and gabriel were with me. Gabriel was staring mouth wide open, but Regina fell asleep ( it was 9.30 PM ) lol

And today I did some christmas food shopping. 🙂 Estonian House In la hosted a Christmas Bazaar/ fair. I got myself blood sausage/black budding, sourkraut with barley, fresh bacon filled rye bread, pickled pumpkin, gingersnaps:) Oh, I am so glad I went there, I cant wait till christmas and cook real estonian christmas dinner 🙂 ( This year we will be on big bear. 🙂 2, 1/2 people can come with us. lol And that is it……

oh, And we went and brougt us christmas tree. Short 5 feet one. Regina and Gabriel decorated it and it lookes beautiful :):):)